ended up the kind of kid who goes down chutes too narrow

http://www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

college is really hard and i'm overwhelmed. 16 credit hours is plenty. all of my classes are manageable except for Geology and it just fucking sucks. it's like the prof is speaking a different language and he NEVER STOPS. it's non stop talking so i can't even take notes or do anything except listen and read. and the reading is like 50 pages every day SO FUCK THAT. i gave up on the reading and now i just hit the main points. my eye/eyelid is doing that thing where it like twitches and shakes when you eat too much potassium or something. anyways, i have a test that i have to take before Monday and i don't know what the fuck to do because i want to take it tomorrow afternoon or something i just am not sure if i'm ready. i know i'm not ready but i'm NOT taking it after classes Friday and i'm not waiting until Monday. Wednesdays really fucking suck because i have class until 8:30 even though we usually get out earlier than that and even though i have a break from 2:30-5:30 i feel like dying in between because i want to take a nap so so so sosoosoo bad. i have to down a Red Bull right before just to make it through. it's actually one of my favorite classes though so it makes it easier to go to. we get to write essays about pretty much anything we want. there's only 15 of us, and i basically want to be my professor. (she's like 30, super cute, bachelors in Journalism news-ed and PhD in first amendment law, now the assistant dean of admissions for the law school, she's basically THE SHIT and makes me want to go to law school) i just hate the fact it's three hours every week and sometimes it cuts into Project Runway, that really does suck. next semester is going to seem like a piece of fucking cake because i'm only gonna be taking 12 credit hours, NO SCIENCE, no math, and i'm NOT signing up for classes that are at 8:30am every fucking day. i hate waking up so much. i also hate listening to everybody fret about everything in classes.. its like, SHUT THE FUCK UP. nobody cares how much you read or how worried you are about the test and all the girls that are fretting are clearly over achievers that are going to complain when they get a 90 anyway. another thing that bothers the shit out of me is Kenzie complaining all the time about how she's sooooo busy with school and has sooooo much work to do. she's taking like Math 101, sociology, NUTRITION, and American History. ok and she dropped her easy ass rhetoric english class because it was "too hard." GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK i have to read Hamlet, Justinians Flea, i have Geology labs i have Geology web assignments i have to read the shitty ass Lincoln Journal Star every fucking day for news quizzes, i have a quiz in World History every Friday, i have at least 3 papers due every Wednesday for J102 plus whatever else i have to write for OTHER classes, and she's sitting there with her face in a book for hours when she has a goddamn in-class essay the next day about annexing Alaska/Hawaii. try writing a five paragraph essay in 20 minutes over the entire fucking middle east for WORLD history. GOD!! it gets so annoying listening to her complain about studying and waking up early and being busy i just want to scream because her work load is N O T H I N G compared to mine and i wake up at 8:30 every goddamn day and am in class until 2:30 at least. i never say anything because i know it sounds stupid because i chose to take these classes and stuff, she just is approaching college with such a bad, lazy fucking attitude and it annoys me. Jenna is a part time student at the community college and SHE probably has more things to do than Kenzie does.

also, Kenzie's always with her boyfriend and she talks about omg they are gonna be together FOREVER and she can't imagine her life without him and blah blah blah they are going to get MARRIED. she is probably one of those girls that will get married at age 20 or something. it's hard for me to take her seriously because i was saying the exact same thing like a year ago and now look at me, i couldn't be happier without Alex and i just don't think she understands how much things can change especially when you're spending EVERY minute of every day with your boyfriend. the only thing i have to say is.. absence makes the heart grow fonder. it is an unhealthy relationship if can't even find a shred of happiness inside yourself without your stupid boyfriend. i guess i just learned a lot from mine and Alex's relationship and even though i'm still not alone, i'm a lot less dependent on Sean than i was with Alex and i'm not going to rush into things like Alex and i did. it was stupid and we were young, the same will probably go for Kenzie in a year or 2. that's all.

ok that was a lot of ranting and now i'm done.

on another note, i'm addicted to CNN and i can't wait to vote. Sarah Palin is really scary but i hate to admit i actually LIKE her and i really liked the interview i saw with her and Charlie or whatever his name is. ahhhh but the SNL skit was great i loved it. at least it stopped raining i was starting to feel like i lived in Seattle. umm let's see, me and Sean are serious and we like each other a lot. i FINALLY went to his house and met his parents and his bull dog Chubs. it's really nice to have a guy i can talk to about anything, especially the things that i am interested in like politics and books and movies and music. and i love that he takes my mind off of school even if it's only for the couple hours we spend together. we look damn good together too. and he's REALLY tall and i love laying on top of him on his enormous couch watching really good movies on his tv that is so big i don't even have to wear my glasses to see it. he lives on Wilderness Ridge golf course and we are going to go golfing some time! I JUST REALLY LIKE him and it took us a long time to get here but we have both come to the conclusion that we make each other really fuckin happy and it's a really good thing.

ew now i have to go to Geology, which i dread doing every day because i can't stay awake. i have made friends with this older kid because he was reading Chuck Palahniuk and i mentioned that he's my fav author so now he sits by me every day and gives me the answers to the clicker questions. does anybody else have clickers at their school? PRS systems or something. none of the profs can figure out how to work them and they piss me off but whatever. maybe i will take my laptop with me and get lost on facebook even though i should be paying close attention because i myself am fretting about the test.

At least it is a beautiful day outside!!!! i didn't even take the time to re-read this but i'm clicking post anyways.